I thought of this last night, while listening to a depressing song. Let’s say a sad song. I was struggling with homework and it was already 11:30 pm. I started to remember my past and found how happy my childhood was.
I realized that those times are long gone when we were carefree, careless and mainly tension free. When I entered my teenage life, I was excited at first but gradually I started falling at the dark part of it.
I had emotional breakdowns, pressure from study, agitation and frustration. In addition to it, I would like to admit that I have felt lost for some time and frustrated with my life.
Then I concluded my thoughts finishing my homework. But when I was about to sleep, again I thought about how clean was my skin and how I was stress free and cheerful.
Still cheerful, I rolled on to my other side facing the cold walls but only on the outside. I realized as I was drifting to sleep that in this phase I have felt emptiness and guilt over and over again.