I thought the dark would never end. It felt as if the dark would swallow me whole and I would never escape. I felt empty and so very dead inside, even though my heart was beating quite well.
I went to school and laughed at jokes I didn’t even hear as I pretended to care. I wanted to get better I really did but no matter how much I tried I kept circling to the same condition, I was trying to get rid of. I felt stupid as I started to compare to others. I started to hurt myself for the pleasure.
My recovery didn’t have fireworks. No, it didn’t. It started because of a simple reason a friend at school asking if I was okay or not. I started noting my days as I slowly get better. I am not ‘fixed’, I truly might never be but I stand proud in front of the reflection pondering about how I truly escaped that nightmare. I just gotta remind myself that it’s okay not to be okay.